Thank you to Atlanta's public TV station, I was given the christmas miracle of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." For all of those unlucky enough to have missed it, here is my little synopsis:
"I am so concerned for our little martian children... they are acting so strange with their demands for presents and a big fat man with a beard and cocacola etc...."
The Martians decide to go to earth to abduct Santa, coincidentally landing in white protestant America and picking up two little waspy kids along the way.
"It sure is cold as martian balls out here, sally... hope we don't die of hypothermia while we try to find Santa's workshop to warn him!"
"Raaaar! I am the martian robot thing sent to thwart your escape! Raar!"
"Goodbye dear, looks like I am being abducted now."
Santa doesn't really put up much of a fight, but then again, he is santa so he must have some higher motive...
"There, there, dear. Your father is bringing you a freshly stolen Santa any moment now."
I wish I could have gotten a full body shot of her amazing 60's mom-alien outfit!!
"We're not so different you and I! Shaking hands with a martian kid is way more conceivable than shaking hands with, say, a black kid..."
"MUAHAHAHAHAA!!!! Now I can spread my generosity and good cheer across the entire universe! No stopping me now!! MUAHAHAH ahem HO Ho ho..."
...okay, that's not really how it ended but you'll just have to rent the movie to find out! MERRY CHRISTMAS HUMANS AND OTHERS EVERYWHERE!
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