Ms. Match

Dumpy rainy cold weather days lately kind of make me feel like disappearing. What happened to the promise of Summer from last week, with the 80 degree weather and the shorts and sunglasses? Suddenly I am back to my Fall palette and those light girly colors I was so enthusiastic about have to wait. However, to counter the threat of vanishing completely in my winter wetness depression, I did manage to play around with one element I am anticipating for spring: the mismatching of different patterns into one outfit!

  

Floral skirt: Thrifted

Plaid stockings: 

Clown and children t-shirt: Gift from super sweet astronomer

Ankle boots: Vintage, thrifted.

I have been admiring a good clash in some of the posts to Wardrobe Remix, and decided to try it out myself! Here I have mixed the floral skirt, plaid stockings, bandana, and checkered earrings.

Even if the weather is boring, it's still always fun to play with your hair! I sat behind a friend in class who had two little bows to clasp her french braids and I absolutely had to copy it. I got my gray velvet bow barrettes from Little Red Fox's etsy shop, and I have been wearing them almost every day since then.

Plaid 50's dress: Vintage shop in Austin.

Tights: Gap?

Boots: Thrifted

Necklace: Thrifted.

Scarf: Kudzu Antiques

Belt: Thrifted

The next day I decided to mismatch patterns again. I combined a kind of plaid green vintage dress, lacy tights, polkadot belt and a polkadot scarf. As you can see from these pictures, being Ms. Match greatly improved my mood after my summer parade had literally been rained upon. Now I am going to Savannah to soak up some coastal rays! 

The Five Fashion Accessory MUST HAVES

1) BUTT ENHANCING PANTIES.

Because everyone knows that fat bottomed girls make the rockin world go 'round. Why give in to flat-bootie blues this season when you can invest in this wardrobe staple? Not only will you get way more of that much craved attention from boys, but your chances of scoring a job in this tough economy will be doubled. No butts about it, no girl's fashion accessory collection is complete without a little extra junk in the trunk.

2) VELOUR SWEAT SUITS.

Fashion Accessory #1 will aid you in looking extra curvy in your velour suits. Be sure to buy one in every obnoxious color; after all, there's nothing like the feel of cheap-looking furry fabric against your tanning bed skin. Wear them with a high pony-tail while carrying a Starbucks cup and a dog in a purse for optimum fashion forward fabulousness!

3) UGGS

Once you have your booty-licious bod and your shiny velour suit, you're going to need some Uggs to stuff the bottoms of your sweat pants in. 

These timeless boots come in all shades and shapes of unflattering blandness to suit your every mood! Despite the fur lining and similarity to snow-boots, Uggs can be worn in any climate and season. Heads will turn when you pair them with Fashion Accessory Must-Have #4, the short denim skirt-- 

not because people are thinking "why the F is that girl wearing ugly tan snow boots in 95 degree weather" but because they're thinking "wow that girl looks like lots of other pretty girls I've seen... I should run to the store and buy the exact same outfit." And what with the lovely privilidge of mass-production and daddy's credit card, they can do just that!

4) SHORT DENIM SKIRT

If you want to be a true fashionista, you're going to need a short denim skirt, preferably an expensive one from Abercrombie. Don't try to make your own out of an old pair of jeans, that's for craft-nerds, which, ew. It's much better to trust the adept little hands of underage Taiwanese factory workers who have years of experience pumping out hundreds of the same skirt per 18 hour work day. Go ahead and buy the skirt with the most wear and fading, although it might be a little more expensive to get one that looks like it's been run over by a truck a few times-- but hey, that's better than going to the thrift store for a used one! That's for poor people, which, gross. 

Once you have your denim skirt, you'll be able to pretty much wear the same outfit as everyone else every day! Just switch out your different colored Lacoste and Polo shirts, and if your feet are beginning to develop a strong odored fungus from sweating in Uggs for a few months, go ahead and switch to Rainbow brand flip-flops.  

5) TRAMP STAMP.

 With these looks, don't be afraid to show a little skin in the midriff section. A little lower back peeking out just screams "CLASS!" especially if you have an adorable lower back tattoo of a tribal design, a flower, or a butterfly. If you don't have one, don't fret. Many tattoo parlors are open 24 hours, and you and your girlfriends can hit the bars for some jello shots before stumbling into one and getting the matching tats you'll be sure to regret. I mean, remember.

P.S. 

APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!! :~)